I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I smell like Dick and happiness
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize