before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
