You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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