I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
MIDGETS
????
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
