I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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