we have pet lesbian snakes
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
