It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize