Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Be still, my beating vagina.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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