Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Someone shattered a urinal.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
