Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize