i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
