hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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