It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Randomize
