Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
