Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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