i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He shit in the fireplace
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
