Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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