So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
