I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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