I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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