We should be called the Road Head Warriors
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
