There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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