sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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