all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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