there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
