the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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