oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
