I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize