I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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