if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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