you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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