Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The adults are the big ones right?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
