where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
