So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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