I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
