PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize