...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
