I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So squirting runs in the family.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
