When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
