Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
