you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
