By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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