I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize