I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
It's just like the Real World with babies
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
