Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize