i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
