the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
