C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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