The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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