I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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