Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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