i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
