I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
