We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
