Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I think a kid would responsible me up
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Randomize
