At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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