If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize