Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
