the ceiling is raining jello shotss
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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