hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
