have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
