Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
