Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
