I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
